Talk:Dealing with the loss of a child

After reading the entry "dealing with the loss of a child," it's comforting to learn that everyone who experiences loss deals with the aftermath of grief. I've heard it said a thousand times that until you lose someone, you can't sympathize with others who have. Let me say first of all, I wish fewer people could sympathize with those of us who've had losses. However, it's very comforting to read that others have been through the same pain, confusion and hurt that I've felt over the past 10 years since I lost my mother. Since that time, I've lost grandparents and a close friend, and I've comforted friends as they've lost parents, children and in-laws.

My Story

My mother was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer and about 18 months later - after painful chemotherapy and surgeries - was gone. I was 18 years old at the time - too young to be choosing my mother's headstone when I should have been choosing a college. Since that time I've mourned her almost every day. Certainly the pain has subsided with time, but nothing can fill the hole of her absence, especially on special occasions; my college graduation, my wedding, the purchase of my first home - she wasn't there for any of them. I try to remind myself that I had 18 amazing years with this inspirational woman - who molded and sculpted me into the person I've become - and I find a lot of joy in my memories of her.

So, to commemorate her life, I'm soliciting family and friends to write their memories of her, which I'm compiling into a book. It's been a very healing process, and I'm learning a lot more about my mom as I go. I highly recommend to anyone who has lost a loved-one, that the put together a book (or Web site, or blog, or notebook) of memories. Ultimately, my goal is for the children-in-law and grandchildren who never met my mother to get to know her.

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